Considering the current state of the world’s affairs, gaming offers many alternate universes that could be so much better. Below are some of our top picks for worlds we would rather exist in at the moment.
1. The Nintendogs+cats Universe
There’s this very real and totally not made up law in the universe called “Ash’s law”. Ash’s law is an epigram that is typically stated as: Even when everything in the world is going to shit, cute animals are objectively good.
In the Nintendogs+cats universe, there are only two places: your virtual house and a small town where your animal companion can roam under your supervision. That’s it. That’s the entire universe. Is there any better place you could imagine being right now?
There’s also shops and a little gym inside the town, but technically these spaces are merely liminal spaces. They exist only as a space between worlds, existing only when you need them. They’re also open 24/7, which automatically makes them more convenient than places in our current universe. The Nintendogs+cats universe isn’t governed by politics. The animals don’t care about your sexuality, race, or religion. All they care about is whether you can feed them or not.
The downside to all this, of course, is that this universe lacks democracy. Logically, this universe should be ruled by anarchy (which is an oxymoron in itself) but seeing as politics don’t exist in this universe, there is no anarchy. There are only dogs and cats and that, in my opinion, is a pretty sweet deal.
Published and Developed by Nintendo: Available on 3DS
2. Lego Video Game Universe
Depending on who you ask, the world is in a poor state. Newly-elected President Donald Trump and acrylamide causing cancer if you overcook your toast. We need a clean slate and I vote to uproot and move to a different universe. Namely the Lego Video Games Universe. That universe is heaps better than our own. Everything can be repaired and body modifications are as simple as ripping your limbs off.
One of the biggest appeals is how positive and bubbly everyone is. This universe is based off of a toy for children. This means that there is no lasting negativity and those who are considered evil, still manage to be funny and charming. The games have a humour about them which makes them appeal to all ages.
Being in a world of Lego means that nothing can ever be broken beyond repair. No longer would we have to worry about dropping our phones and see them obliterate into thousands. Devastating car crashes will be easier to clean up and it would decrease the price of insurance because no damage is lasting – even to people. Health insurance would become a thing of the past, replacement limbs and extremities come by the dozen. Being 100% repairable is something that I would be on board with.
Lego Dimensions confirmed that all of the properties take place in the same universe. This means that you could have the best group of friends. Having the ability to call up the entire Justice League or the fellowship of the ring. These people would make for the best dinner party. These opportunities are perfect to help people forget about the disastrous world we currently live in.
Developed by Travelers Tales
Published by Warner Bros Interactive Entertainment
Available on Xbox one, Xbox 360, PS4, PS3 and Wii U: LEGO Dimensions Starter Pack (Xbox One)
3. Bioshock – ‘The sweat of a man’s brow’
“Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? No says the man in Washington, it belongs to the poor. No says the Vatican, it belongs to god. I rejected those answers. I chose… Rapture.”
While we all admit that newly-created utopias rarely ever work the majority of the time. However, the whole concept behind the underwater city of Rapture brings a unique philosophical view to how the world should be. A society where the people are truly and utterly free. And who doesn’t want that kind of freedom? The freedom to discover what you want, be who you want and do whatever you want.
Anyone who has any ounce of common sense can probably realise how quickly that kind of society can fall apart, as the game’s horror-themed, steampunk style shooter will most likely have shown you. However, if you bothered to collect the extensive audio files scattered in this abandoned, nautical monster den, you will learn that the people certainly had it good before they all turned into mutated psychopaths.
The people were free. Free from religious constraints, oppressive governments and a democracy where they elect a rich, orange man as president. Gay couples were accepted even in the 1950s, and science developed to a point where people could literally purchase superpowers. Everyone was given a choice to live their life however they wanted regardless of race, sexuality, gender or whatever your into in the bedroom. Rapture excepts everyone, which unfortunately also includes murderers and perverts.
So enjoy this paradise while you can and make sure you get out before your skin starts falling off and you start talking about demon babies.
4. Enter the Gungeon
The beauty of the Enter the Gungeon universe is that no mistakes are permanent.
Provided you have some form of advance space travel and a gun, you could breeze through the various floors of the gungeon acquiring the parts needed for assembling the bullet that can kill the past. Most people would waste their bullet by trying to prevent Trump becoming president. I, however would try to eat the piece of cake I dropped a couple days ago. A much more worthwhile use of such great power if I’m being honest.
The best part about the Gungeon is that if you fail, you get sent back to the beginning again so there is no way to lose – provided you don’t mind failing several times before you perfect the floors and gain that coveted bonus health. After completing the Gungeon, it’s just a matter of correcting your mistake and then getting back to your ever-tranquil mistake-free life. At least until you make another, then you have to start all over again in an endless psychopathic cycle of bullet murder and fixing time.
Published by Devolver Digital. Made by Dodgeroll Games
Available on PS4 and PC. Watch here.
5. Pokémon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire
You could throw any of the fantastic Pokémon worlds on to this list but Game Freak’s 2014 remake of their Hoenn based titles stand out. Hoenn has always been a beautiful region with its varied landscapes and impressive oceanic elements but the remakes allowed us to see a whole new side to it. We could finally soar through the skies on the back of one of the legendary Eon Pokémon of choice. Seeing this world from a whole new perspective really highlighted to me just how gorgeous its design really is.
There’s no doubt that you wouldn’t be lacking in activities either. Just imagine the thrill of surfing on the tidal waves in Eastern Hoenn or exploring the deep caves of volcanic depths. The diversity of Hoenn is something special and has become one of the few video game worlds I felt could genuinely be described as paradise.
I’ll admit that, sometimes, having something go wrong is simply a part of life. There’s no doubting that negativity in the world can be healthy if consumed in small quantities. It might not be perfect that the Pokémon world seems so faultless but I’d still like to think that we’d all take this over the world we live in right now.
Developed by Game Freak. Published by Nintendo and The Pokémon Company
Available on Nintendo 3DS here: Pokémon Omega Ruby (Nintendo 3DS)
6. Diablo – Sanctuary
The human race in diablo is seemingly hated by everything but themselves. Demons and angels alike all dislike them.
The eternal conflict is a pseudo-political conflict that the humans have been dragged into as the Demons wish to enslave humanity and use them against angels, this makes life in the Diablo universe a constant death threat, using Sanctuary as a way to hit the high heavens.
However, with Donald Trump now in power in the USA, Sanctuary is looking fairly good for real estate. The ever humble “Heretics Abode” can be yours for just 250,000 gold pieces! Along with this home, you get smashing views of the undead horde attacking New Tristram and various portals to locations previously thought unknown. Where on Earth will you ever find such incredible traits in a home? After a long day of surviving various waves of assault from different creatures, you can relax on the luxurious battlements of Bastion Keep. The location of a great siege between the USA and Russ…. Angels and Demons, you can stand on the battlements and watch the battle from safety. (Beware of flying demons that may rip you from the walls. )
Overall, Sanctuary is a great place to live, whether you’re a sightseer or an aspiring wizard. The Views are unrivalled. With access to Bastion’s keep, you’ll never be far from the action.
Developed and published by Blizzard Entertainment
Available for PS4, PS3, Xbox one, Xbox 360, PC. On Amazon here: Diablo III (PC/Mac DVD)
Let’s face it, the world is turning upside down anyway, surely it would be better to live in the post-apocalyptic wasteland depicted in the Fallout universe; where the stupidity of the 21st century does not exist?
Sure most essential supplies such as food and water would be irradiated from nuclear fallout, but at least the nuclear explosions have mostly destroyed the White House so buffoons like Donald Trump can’t step into it. Though the Fallout world would be filled with destructive Raiders who would be willing to murder you for an easy laugh, or genetically altered freaks would rip out your spleen for a meal; the chances of being attacked by neo-Nazi shooters or terrorists are increasing so your odds of survival are probably better with the mutants and raiders. If nuclear Armageddon is inevitable, jumping into a world where the bombs have already dropped doesn’t seem too bad, right?
Developed and published by Bethesda
Available for PS4, PC and Xbox One
8. No Game No Life
Wouldn’t you just love it if you could challenge Trump to a game of chess and if you won he’d have to stand down as President? Well in the alternate universe of ‘No game No life’ you can!
Everything there is settled in games, plus everything is beautifully coloured in vibrant patterns. The only problem? We the humans are the weakest race of a total of 16 magical species. The plus side? Instead of the malevolent Trump, they have a benevolent god named Tet who’s all about world peace.
“What about violence, surely they will still be violence?” I hear you cry. Don’t worry you rampant cynic, here in the world of Disboard a spell called the Ten pledges you are quite literally banned from harming others. Even bandits have to challenge you to games of dice and cards to try and rob you of your belongings. As long as you can game and you’ve got your head screwed on right there’s no limit to what you can accomplish.
Unfortunately, cheating is absolutely allowed as long as you aren’t caught. Actually this doesn’t sound like such a good idea after all. Trump could probably get quite far in this world. But then again at least this way you have a fighting chance of stopping him!
P.S if you’re not already sold, there are dragons and cat girls for you weirdos out there.
Available on http://www.crunchyroll.com/
9. Cave Story
Cave Story’s world has quite a long list of negatives such as the surface being caught in a war that killed the majority of humanity and is now populated with purposeless robots and that the world underground is currently being ruled by the terroristic Doctor but apart from that, Cave Story’s world is actually a really lovely place to live.
Every location from Grasslands to. . . well, literally Hell, is accompanied by cutesy, high-beat music that, if it was playing constantly in real life, would make journeying through the cute, pixel-art landscapes of a horribly oppressed world quite a joy. But when your world’s most important country is now taken over by an orange-faced baboon maybe you need a little bit of occult-based rabbit slavery in your life.
Other than that, every character in Cave Story is a massive hyperbole. While this would lead to utter frustration after a few years, it would be a nice refreshing change from the onslaught of dull, boring people you have to deal with every day in real life. In Cave Story you would never deal with the bored teenage girl with the driest tone in the world, everyone is either happy or angry to the extreme which would make your daily interactions very interesting indeed.
In other words, real life sucks. I’ll take literally anywhere but here.
Developed and published by Nicalis
Available on 3DS, Wii, Xbox, PC and PSP and on Steam here
10. Pit People
With the stank of 2016 wafting over to 2017 it’s understandable that you’d want to escape. Thankfully The Behemoth has given us Pit People, a wonderfully grim grid-based tactical RPG filled to burst with the dark humour fans have come to expect from games such as Castle Crashers and Battleblock Theatre.
Players start the game controlling Horatio, a humble Blueberry farmer defending his son from silly scoundrels hell bent on killing Horatio and ‘eating his delicious son’
Despite the player’s efforts, both Horatio’s son and farm are destroyed in a storm of bear blood (bear with me), only to quickly move on without a care in the world. Thus begins your epic journey past zombie-filled graveyards and a literal candy land filled with lollypops, ice cream and fun.
In our universe we have to settle disputes with debates, the court and strongly worded letters; however in Pit People you can resolve petty arguments by taking part in gladiatorial fights where winner takes all while the loser feels pretty rotten about the serious physical condition they have now found themselves in.
It’s also important to note that the land you find yourself in is fantastic, people are just given houses for being generally cool people and the beach is only a few minutes away. Home and away eat your heart out!
You can buy Pit People (PC, Xbox One) on Steam right now while it’s in early access
Published and developed by The Behemoth
Available on PC and Xbox One
11. Animal Crossing Universe
Anyone who has ever played an Animal Crossing game will instantly understand why this game is on this list.
In case you haven’t, Animal Crossing is a life-simulation game where you live in a little town populated by friendly talking animals. You can fish in the rivers and seas, plant trees and other plants and browse and buy in the town shops, all while becoming best buds with your fellow villagers.
This is probably the least stressful game on the planet. The Animal Crossing world is colourful and cheery, always with plenty to do. But it is its economy – or lack of, more accurately – that makes this universe so desirable to inhabit. Need some cash? Don’t worry about getting yourself a job; just go fishing, or bug-catching, or fossil hunting. Pretty much everything you pick up can be sold for some cash at the local shops. Feeling lonely? Go and have a chat with one of your fellow neighbours, who always greet you with a smile on their faces and basically think you’re awesome.
So many of us wish we didn’t have to slave precious hours of our lives away at work just so we can keep the food in our fridge and a roof over our heads. Animal Crossing is a little less of a life simulator than a ‘what-everybody-in-the-world-wants’ simulator.
The Animal Crossing series spans a few generations and is available on several consoles, but the latest title, New Leaf, is available for the 3DS on Amazon: Animal Crossing: New Leaf (Nintendo 3DS)